Why Do Transitions Feel So Difficult?
Change is one of life's few certainties, yet every transition asks something different of us. This piece explores the uncertainty, self-doubt, and vulnerability that often accompany new beginnings, reminding us that feeling awkward or unsteady is not a sign that we're doing it wrong—it's part of becoming. By making room for uncertainty, self-compassion, and community, we allow ourselves to grow into new versions of who we are, one transition at a time.
If there’s one thing that life reminds us of, it’s often that change is the only constant we are guaranteed. Either the world changes around you, or you change in a stagnant world.
Transitioning often comes with its own container of unique emotional experiences that make it so difficult for us. Even when we go through transitions that are similar to others’, we are walking into them with largely different histories, resources and perceptions.
All transitions we go through create ripples in our lives.
Take yourself back to the last time you went through a major change in your life.
What was it like?
Invigorating? Debilitating? Awkward?
Transitions require us to meet new versions of ourselves and showcase new abilities that we haven’t practised before.
Once the initial excitement wears off, it’s common to doubt your choices. There’s a certain discomfort that comes with being a newbie - we are asked to stomach our mistakes and acknowledge that we aren’t yet where we want to be.
We frequently deny ourselves the kindness of being a first-timer. Our shame, growing in silence, bars us from embracing the inherently tumultuous nature of our shifts.
This quick and capitalist world doesn’t give us much room to slip into our new roles or to even be mindful of the newness it thrusts us into.
Does newness ever feel better?
Working through the uncertainty and doubt takes a great deal of effort, but it’s the only way we begin to feel the reward of the new insights, habits and skills.
It’s often by seeking comfort and support from the community of people who’ve been through what you have, that you allow yourself to submit to your transitions.
The bottom line is:
You’re always going to feel awkward.
It isn’t necessary that we become better at ridding ourselves of these feelings - it’s more so that we start to normalise and tolerate the uncertainty within us and that opens us up to finding true meaning.