What You Need NOT Worry About in Therapy
Many people worry they're "doing therapy wrong"—that they're talking too much, sharing too much, or taking up too much space. This post offers reassurance that there is no perfect way to show up in therapy, and that honesty, openness, and bringing your full self into the room are what make the process meaningful.
Let’s face it: Therapy is yet to become a mainstream example of a helping service in India.
When it comes to doctors, nurses or even police officers, you know what to say to them and what you can ask for. You’ve been in those situations enough times to understand what’s “normal” to do.
Yet, when it comes to therapy, you’ve probably only ever heard of or read about it. Surely you’ve not listened to another person be in therapy either. So, when you’re telling your therapists your problems - you’re likely to wonder whether you’re doing it wrong, and we’re here to tell you that you’re not.
The most regular worry that therapists come across is one where you feel like you’re speaking too much in sessions.
When you find that you are taking up too much space in the conversation, it’s probably because you have a lot on your mind, and what you’re sharing is bringing up many thoughts and feelings within you.
Your natural thought process is central to the work that we do, and we’re aware that all of what you’re saying feels important to you and there’s a part of you that wants to express it just as intensely as you feel it.
It’s through speaking that we unravel your underlying thoughts and feelings.
Don’t hold back—you’re not taking up too much space. This space is specifically made for you to be heard.
What about honesty?
Is there a limit to how much emotion, pain or honesty you can bring to a session? It’s very understandable to anticipate judgement, much like you may have experienced with others in your past.
However, in therapy, honesty is a gift. The more open you are, the more we can work together to understand the pain and suffering that you brought you here. The more you feel the need to filter yourself, the less possible it is for you or your therapist to access the deeper parts of your experiences.
Here are some more disclaimers. Your therapist is not sitting with you to be entertained - they’re there to listen, understand, and support you. Your thoughts, no matter how silly or serious they may seem to you, are equally important and worthy of attention.
You don’t need to worry about being interesting—you just need to be you.
The idea of “trauma dumping” comes up quite a bit, especially if you’re sharing heavy memories.
You don’t need to apologize for bringing up difficult topics. Your therapist is trained to handle these conversations, and invites you to touch these painful moments to the degree that you can handle them.
Your pain and experiences deserve to be heard and understood, not minimized and brushed aside.
The therapeutic process works best when you slip into your most comfortable skin. Worrying about being interesting or restricting your words out of the fear of what your therapist feels means that you are putting on a mask.
To slip into your truest self is to express yourself openly and freely, acknowledging the parts of you that you’re not proud of.
Therapists are well capable of injecting their questions and directions as and when they see fit. We hope that you don’t carry this burden for us.