Understanding Suicide as a Non-Suicidal Person
Suicidal pain is often met with questions like, “But why would someone do that?”—questions that can unintentionally dismiss the depth of what someone is experiencing. This piece explores suicide through the lens of unbearable psychological pain, reminding us that empathy begins not with answers, but with curiosity. By moving beyond judgment and making space for people's stories, we create the conditions where hope, connection, and the possibility of another tomorrow can begin to emerge.
When conversations about suicide emerge, one response often surfaces:
“But why would someone do that?”
This framing does not reflect understanding, but dismissal.
For those who have not experienced the depth of suicidal pain, it can be nearly impossible to imagine what that state feels like.
We often project our own thresholds onto others – “If I can survive stress, why can’t they? - without realising that pain is not a competition, and perception is deeply personal.
Suicide does not emerge out of nowhere. It is not simply a moment of “weakness” or “giving up”. It happens when pain overwhelms perception; when a person feels trapped in suffering that seems endless, with no visible way out.
For many, suicidal thoughts are not about wanting to die but about wanting the pain to stop.
Psychologists call this “psychache” – the unbearable psychological pain that comes from loss, trauma, rejection, shame, loneliness, or hopelessness. In India, this pain is magnified by academic pressure, caste discrimination, financial debt, gender-based violence, family silence, and the weight of "log kya kahenge?"
Suicide happens when pain overshadows possibility. Healing happens when empathy, support, and justice widen perception again. When someone can begin to see that another tomorrow is possible.
Our perception of someone else’s pain doesn’t grow by trying to explain it away. It widens when we meet their story with curiosity. When we pause judgment, resist comparison, and allow their experience to stand on its own terms. Curiosity creates room for stories that don’t fit our assumptions, for feelings we may not have known, and for possibilities that might have been invisible before.
In that space, hope and connection have a chance to return.